Bewilderment is the true comprehension. Not to know where you are going is the true knowledge… I [God] myself [will]…instruct you by my word and Spirit in the way you should go. Not the work which you choose, not the suffering you devise, but the road which is clean contrary to all you choose or contrive or desire–that is the road you must take. To that I call you and in that you must be my disciple.
-from Bonhoeffer’s “The Cost of Discipleship”
As I shared in my previous post, I often feel like I’m floating in the middle of a vast ocean with only a pineapple to cling to (imagery borrowed from a good friend of mine) when considering what I should be doing in the next few years.
It comforts me greatly to know that people like Bonhoeffer wrote something similar to my friend’s pineapple imagery. It comforts me greatly to know Father Abraham “went forth from his father and not knowing wither he went. He trusted himself to [God’s] knowledge…” It comforts me greatly that great prophets like Elijah didn’t know where their next meal was going to come from and had to depend on a widow for their meal as they were guided by God’s Spirit. These and many not-so-“wow” stories hidden everywhere in the Bible comfort me and let me know it’s okay to not know how my life will pan out. This state of bewilderment is okay. It’s not just okay, it’s true comprehension and true knowledge because there’s God’s comprehension and knowledge that is covering over me and guiding me. It is the work HE chooses, the suffering HE allows. It is to this that I am His disciple.
Originally from May 2, 2019 Insta Post. Added a lot of my current thoughts.
A closer look into Eli's special thoughts 